Fresh Starts and Clean Slates

‘Tis Monday again, and I am glad to have this last week behind me and look forward to a new one, a fresh start.

To begin, I would like to quickly mention my hospital stay. About a month ago, I came down with a staph infection and stayed in the hospital for 11 days. I was pumped full of antibiotics, lung treatments, and idle time.

I worked hard to shorten my stay so I could make it to the Yellowcard concert I had been planning to go to for months. My hard work paid off—I hiked up my lung functions back to my baseline and was able to break free of my luxurious prison allowing me to make it to my concert.

Tomorrow, I have a follow-up appointment and I would like to cordially ask all of you to wish me luck and send some good vibes my way in hopes I can fend off another hospital stay. Thank you 🙂

Now, I mentioned fresh starts in my greeting this week. I have mulled over this concept for a couple days and am glad I took a little extra time before I came to a conclusion.

I don’t celebrate Halloween much anymore, but my cynical spirit indulged itself by dressing up as an optimist and attempted to post to my blog. After Halloween, though, I unmasked this demon and confronted it.

After a week of undergoing some unfortunate events, that darkness inside overwhelmed me with pessimistic thoughts. It led me to believe that the only way I would be able to move on with my life is if I started anew. In layman’s terms, it convinced me the only way out was to move away from Breckenridge and down to Denver as soon as possible.

It sounded like a great idea, but what about my job commitment to Eric? Where would I stay? Where do I find a place to live? How do I find a new job? That cynical demon seemed to have an answer for all of these questions, and I became hell-bent on leaving my Breckenridge life behind with no rhyme or reason of how to start fresh in Denver.

But over the weekend, I came to my senses, deciding this rash behavior isn’t the solution to my problem. I have never been keen on running from my problems and I shouldn’t start now.

So I took Yellowcard’s advice: “Stop, turn, take a look around at all the lights and sounds,” and what did I see? What did I hear? Not much of anything. The lights and sounds that drew me back to Breckenridge after college are now faded and stuck on repeat.

Me and myself came to a compromise: I do agree with getting out and starting fresh somewhere else, but now isn’t the right time–which leads me to the idea of fresh starts, clean slates, and starting new…

I realized fresh starts aren’t made possible just because of rash decisions. What was my opening line this week? I am looking forward to a new week, leaving what has happened behind me and moving forward: a fresh start.

And that’s the key! It’s not unprecedented decisions or Sunday night coming to a close that makes it possible to start fresh. We wake up every morning, breathing and alive, and every day is a brand new day. Although we do carry the burdens of our past and follow schedules of work and errands, every day has the chance of presenting new, unexpected, and exciting opportunities for us in hopes that we may shuffle around our schedule and leave behind our burdens to enjoy what life can offer.

This past week, I lost sight of this truth. I stopped enjoying my life every day because I was convinced I wouldn’t be happy unless I moved away. Instead, I allowed other factors to take control of my life.

Don’t get me wrong. It becomes difficult to be happy when everything in your life seems to have taken a turn for the worse. When put in such a vulnerable state, it seems downright hopeless that things will turn around. It happens to all of us and when it does, we turn to those famous “If only…” statements  and tend to dwell in the woulda-coulda-shoulda. It just happened to me this last week.

So, I encourage everyone, myself included, that when you are feeling down and out, to remember these words: “Happiness is not a destination; happiness is a way of life.”

It’s not, “If only I taken that extra shift at work and made more money”; it’s not, “If only something bad would happen to them because they hurt me”; it’s not “If only I could be living in Denver right now.” Instead think, “Today, I won’t be helplessly blinded by the darkness; I will actively seek out the light.”

Much easier said than done, but I believe you and I can do it.

In time and with the right attitude, those destinations to which we so desperately cling can become reality. But heed caution: sometimes when we finally make it to one of those destinations, it isn’t what we thought it would be.

I keep telling myself and I forward this on to you: don’t get caught waiting miserably in the present for the future to come; actively seek out the light in the present, let the past be past, and the future will fall in line.

Don’t get ahead of yourself; take one day at a time.

For now, I am doing my best to live by these words. This winter season, I will enjoy myself all the while planning making a move come springtime, the season of new birth. Now just isn’t the moment for rash actions. It’s time for me to pick myself up, hold my head up high, and stop wasting days away thinking how it could be, should be, or would be.

So off I go, living every day in between this Monday and next. Please join alongside me.

Until then!

Keep Fighting, Keep Breathing, Live Today, Say Tomorrow

keepbreathing65

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2 thoughts on “Fresh Starts and Clean Slates

  1. “Right thinking & Reason will show one what to do. Conscience, guided by the heart, will show one what not to do.” Looks like you are on the right path. Thanks for another Monday morning thoughtful message!

  2. […] months ago in my post “Fresh Starts and Clean Slates”, I described my life as “faded and stuck on repeat” and I wanted to make a drastic […]

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